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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26605084">Shared Sorrow</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Some_Dwarven_Writer/pseuds/Some_Dwarven_Writer'>Some_Dwarven_Writer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Apostate and the Prince [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Leandra Hawke Dies, Leandra's death, Mage Hawke (Dragon Age), Pre-Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:15:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26605084</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Some_Dwarven_Writer/pseuds/Some_Dwarven_Writer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Saoirse Hawke finds herself in the Chantry trying to put the pieces of her life back together after her mother's death. After failing quite spectacularly at it, a friend offers her some advice.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Hawke/Sebastian Vael</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Apostate and the Prince [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935439</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shared Sorrow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Inhale and exhale. Inhale, exhale. Saoirse tried to still herself. The whole world seemed to spin wildly out of control just beyond the edges of her foggy vision. And so, she held tight to the only anchor in sight. His body was warm against her grasp and comforting. She pressed her face into his back, and with every breath, she smelled his strong and musky scent. It was hard to block out the thoughts. How the blood had felt on her hands. The ashen color of her mother’s skin. The crimson seeping between the stitches. Saoirse focused on keeping herself from shuddering again. She didn’t want to wrack her body with tearless sobbing anymore; her lungs still ached too much. Beneath his fur, she could feel her wardog’s muscles contracting as Apawstate whined. He wanted only to comfort her. At least she still had him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pets aren’t usually allowed in the Chantry Commons,” Saoirse was surprised at how welcome she found the intrusion upon her solitary thoughts, “but I convinced the Grand Cleric to make an exception,” footsteps approached. Apawstate’s body rumble with a low warning growl. When the voice spoke again, it was lower and closer. Directly behind her. Had he knelt down? “I don’t know that I will be able to convince her to let you and your hound spend the night.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little sanctuary she’d manage to find was slipping out of her grasp. Saoirse sighed and untangled herself from her dog, giving him an accusatory glare, “None of that. Sebastian means well,” Her voice was shattered and cracked on the edges of words, but she managed to carry the sentence through. The hound had the decency to look sheepish, his nub tail thumping against the ground and head bowed low. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still sat on the floor of the Chantry Commons beside her war hound, Saoirse turned to face Sebastian. She’d been right. He’s knelt down behind her, close enough to touch. She met his eyes. In the low candlelight, it was hard to make out their pure blue hue. He gave her a smile. It was false, but as she’d told Apawstate, he meant well by it. Saoirse sniffled and wiped at already dry cheeks, “I’m sorry I’ve given you such a hard time, my prince,” now her own crooked smile was false but it was also familiar. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sebastian chuckled and shook his head, “No need. You haven’t,” he glanced around the room. There were a few worshippers bent low before the statue of Andraste and a group of sisters who seemed busy about their work, but everyone was far enough off. Out of earshot. Sebastian lowered himself from his crouch, sitting beside Saoirse on the ground, “I know how hard this is.”And she knew he did. Saoirse nodded, “It will hurt. Let it. Living through pain without letting it consume you will make you stronger.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As strong as you?” Saoirse teased. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sebastian smiled genuinely, “You’re already far stronger than I am, Hawke.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hummed, “I’ll have to disagree, my prince. Respectfully, of course.” He shook his head in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sebastian’s eyes wandered to the statue of Andraste, “It speaks well of you, deciding to come here instead of to a tavern. When my family was murdered I was...” he broke off, brow taught as a drawn bowstring, “The Maker’s plan is ineffable. We cannot understand for we are simple mortal followers. We do His bidding without knowing how our actions affect His will. Sometimes, when terrible things happen, it is hard not to blame the Maker. I was His humble servant. I gave Him everything and He took my family from me,” Saoirse watched her companion relax as he spoke. A weight leaving him, “Back then I couldn’t comprehend why the Maker would allow my family to be killed in such a way. Now I realize, their deaths brought me here, to this moment with you,” Sebastian broke his concentration on Andreate’s statue and looked to Saoirse with a broad, if still pained, smile, “I know there was His will in that. If my family hadn’t died we never would have met.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saoirse snorted derisively, “So what? You’re saying I’m going to meet some tall, dark, and handsome man who will sweep me off my feet and into some misadventures?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sebastian raised an eyebrow, “No, I wouldn’t want that,” he paused to comprehend her words. Even in the candlelight, Saoirse could see the blush blooming across his sharp features, “I- wouldn’t say you’re very tall or dark but you are undoubtedly beautiful.” It would have been nice to hear if her insides didn’t feel so crushed to pieces. Saoirse sighed and scratched Apawstate behind the ears. After a long moment, Sebastian spoke again, “I’m sorry. That was inappropriate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saoirse shook her head, “It was nice, Seb,” she concentrated on petting her hound, voice low and devoid spirit as she spoke, “And I do understand what you mean. The Maker has mysterious plans and all that,” she bit her lip, and took a deep breath in through her nose, “It just- hurts- right now,” She’d thought the tears had long since dried up but somehow Sebastian had reopened the well. They flowed down her cheeks unabated, “I’m alone,” A sob was caught in her throat but just barely. A nudge more and she’d be a mess again, “And the worst part- worst part is- that it’s all my fault- their deaths- Carver getting tainted,” Apawstate whined softly, “I caused it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arms wrapped around her, engulfing her in a warmth beyond simple temperature, “No, you didn’t. Deaths happen. They are inevitable anywhere there is life,” Sebastian's voice was low, “And, you’re not alone. I swear to you, Hawke; you will never be alone while I draw breath.” Saoirse nodded once stiffly before giving in to her sorrow as she clung to the young prince. For a time, it was just the two of them, alone with the grief but together in understanding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Saoirse’s sobbing began to mellow, her senses returned to her. Sebastian’s palm rubbing circles between her shoulder blades. His breath, catching on her auburn hair. The hum she could feel coming from deep inside his chest. At first, she thought the song must be a part of the Chant of Light but was surprised to not recognize it. Eyebrows knitted, she muttered, “I thought chantry brothers were exclusively allowed to sing the chant. Mixing up the cadence to make your life more interesting?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt him chuckle, “If that is a rule, I haven’t heard it. It’s not part of the chant,” Sebastian gave her a quick squeeze before pulling away from their embrace. Saoirse let him go. She also noted the distance he put between them before he went on, farther than he had been before, “It’s a song my nursemaid used to sing me when I was frightened. I was a scared child; frightened of storms, frightened of loud noises, and even frightened of some people,” he explained, his eyes holding Saoirse’s gaze, “Sometimes the fear would take me so violently that I would go into a state. I wouldn’t be able to breathe or let alone think. My nursemaid would hold me and sing that song until I calmed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a sweet melody, thank you. For everything,” She whispered. A silent understanding passed between them. Sebastian looked away first; his eyes drawn to movement across the room. Saoirse clasped her hands together in her lap, “I suppose I should leave. I wouldn’t want to impose upon the Grand Cleric’s hospitality any further. Besides, if we spend any more time together I think those sisters over there are going to explode,” Saoirse nodded in the direction of a group of robed sisters. They’d been staring daggers at the pair of them since their embrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am going to have a great deal of explaining to do,” Sebastian sighed. The blush had returned but Saoirse saw no reason to pester him about it. That would be for later. When she had the heart for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better get to it, then,” Saoirse got to her feet, patting herself off. She held out a hand to her companion, pulling him to his feet as well. Saoirse dreaded returning to the estate but she didn’t have much choice. Something of her emotions must have shown on her face for Sebastian reached out for her before suddenly thinking better of it, and clasping his hands together at his belt. She eyed his little gesture before shaking her head, “I’ll be fine, my prince. You won’t lose a bodyguard today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re more- Hawke I-” His expression was pained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, Sebastian. I’m alright. You’ve done more than enough,” she glanced to the still seething sisters, “Now go tell your sisters that your virtue remains intact.” She turned before she could see the blush get to his ears. Isabela was right, he was cute when he blushed. Also, he was a better man than Saoirse could ever deserve. She wondered if she would get him killed too. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You give me this bad romance, BioWare, and act like I won't make it better on my own?! The fools!! They took my money and my time but now I am happier! This series is basically me correcting the lack of substance to the Sebastian romance in one-shots. Enjoy?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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